Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Dear Bill...

...I know that you've been putting in some long hours at the office lately.  And on top of that, I know that the stress of trying to decide what on earth to get me for my half birthday this week is just consuming you.  I'm writing to provide some less than subtle assistance:).  Most Some of the time, I don't ask for much, but this is not one of those times.  This request is a 'biggie'.  Really, really big.  Here's what I'd love for my half birthday: two nails in two walls in our sun porch.  Both nails are guaranteed to hit wood, and will never, ever, ever be taken out of the wood.

I'd like one just above the door to our deck:

 Here's a close up of the proposed nail location:):

We'd be able to tell the time in this room, if I placed this wonderful Target clearance ($7.48) clock in our sun porch right above the door:

And I'd like one more nail here above the dry sink that we need to redo sometime soon:

I'd be able to hang a pretty family picture here.  You'd love it.  I just know it.  Here's a close up of the proposed nail location:

I know you love the wood walls in our sun porch, and you want to protect them from a future of swiss-cheese-ness.  And I know it's only one room in our entire house, and that's why I'm only asking for 2 nails.  Two tiny nails that will never, ever be pulled out.

What do you think, hon?  Cross one thing off your to-do list:)?  Half Birthday Present for Beth.  Done?

Love you...even if you say 'no' to the nails and come up with something even more amazing to surprise me with on my half birthday.  And I know that we've never, ever celebrated half birthdays before, but why not start now...with two little nails:)?



  1. hahaha- this made me laugh!!

  2. My dearest wife,

    Is it half birthday time already? Oh how time passes.

    As we have talked about in the past, our home has more than 3 rooms (this is, of course, not counting the sun porch). In each of these rooms I have encouraged you to have fun with the decorating.

    "Paint that room blue!"

    "Sure, I'd love to hang some baskets on the wall"

    "Need a drapery rod, but a custom one is too expensive -- I'd love to make one and hang it!"

    "Actually, I think we need more projects -- let's buy that thing off Craigslist. What, it's in the worst part of the city? You really want it? Okay, I'll drive to the worst part of the city after dark to get that chair for you. Is my life insurance paid up?"

    My darling, you truly have made me a better person and I am so blessed that we met and became husband and wife.

    I offer these solutions to your strange desire to put nails in the one room I request you don't nail anything.

    1. Wear a watch
    2. In the large shelf in the room (the one you omitted in this post), put a shelf clock.
    3. Again on that shelf put a framed picture of our family.
    4. Wear a watch with a picture of our family on it.
    5. Get a rug with a picture of our family
    6. Put a sundial on our deck
    7. Get a grandfather clock
    8. Get a grandfather clock with a picture of our family on it
    9. Get a clock that shouts the time every 15 minutes
    10. Get a clock that shouts the time every 15 minutes and can describe a picture of our family.

    I love you. If you're really good -- we can talk again at your next half birthday.

    All my love,
    Husband Bill

  3. Dear Bill Again,

    Thanks for the detailed response. For my half birthday this year, I choose option 10. You can just ship it to our home address, since it won't be a surprise. More on the nail front next year, I guess. I'm counting on 2012 to bring me my best half birthday ever.

    You're welcome for the present help:).
    Love, B

  4. My dearest wife,

    Upon further review, I have found that option 10 does not exist. Oops.

    To make up for my error, please feel free to put a single nail into our sun porch. A single (as in one), small nail. A single nail placed into the wall with total precision.

    All my love,
    Your Sarcastic Husband who loves you very much

  5. Dear Bill,

    How lucky am I? I received half my request on my half birthday. It's official. This half birthday will be my best one yet.

    Thanks, B. You (half) knew just what I wanted. I heart you.
    TOB (The Other B)

    P.S. Note to myself: When requesting future half birthday presents ask for double the amount of whatever it is you are desiring. Half birthdays only warrant half presents. Lesson learned:).

  6. My hubby just put 17 holes in our freshly painted dining room to hang a bunch of family pictures. I wanted and offered to use Command Strips but they wouldn't stay on the wall. Not sure if it was the humidity or what, but I didn't have the patience to wait for better weather to find out. I am shocked that my hubby gave in to my request. Don't give up, you may just get your other nail. ;)

  7. Tami,
    I love that you know the exact number...17! I'll keep pounding away (pun intended) on my request for a second nail. For now, I'm trying to decide where I'm going to put the single precisely placed nail that I've been gifted.